The Fidget Spinner of Vendor Relationships

Have you ever wondered what the similarity is between marriages and vendor relationships? It might sound like a strange comparison, but let me explain.

Once you are married, what options do you have?
It was supposed to be a funny beginning and nothing else! Don’t think wild!

I’ve been married for over 17 years, and each passing year has brought out the best in our relationship. It’s a mutual effort, and both partners assume responsibility. Working with vendors is no different. The only difference is that in vendor relationships, you get the liberty to have multiple “partners” at once!

Being on the vendor side for most of my career, I wanted to share some insights. I got married at 22, the same age when I started working. So, my work experience and experience in marriage run parallel, making me more inclined to share these insights.

I’ve seen the making and breaking of customer-vendor relationships. Some started off weak but grew stronger over time. Others never quite took off. And a very rare few were truly made for each other. But I know for sure — if the basic hygiene of a relationship is in place, any vendor relationship can be made successful.

Here’s what keeps things going with your vendor — the Fidget Spinner of vendor relationships:

1. Understand Culture

Whether it’s marriage or a new vendor engagement, you need to know how they are culturally brought up.

• What is their attitude towards work? You need someone proactive, who takes ownership, admits when they’ve messed up, and is willing to stretch their capabilities when needed.
• What are their beliefs/customs, and how do they align with yours?

For example, for some people, family comes first, while for others, work may take priority. I know a friend who continued working and sending emails for an hour after learning that his wife had delivered a baby. Why? Because in his culture, saying no was considered disrespectful, whereas being open and candid might be more respected in yours.

Understanding culture helps you manage expectations when things go right or wrong. It’s not about changing them but about knowing what to expect.

2. Plan to Succeed

We don’t get married to get divorced. We get married with the intent to make it work. The same applies to vendor relationships.

Once you have enough data about your vendor, planning is key. Planning for work and deliverables helps set common ground for productivity.

• Plan to succeed by considering the vendor’s strengths and weaknesses. If the vendor performs well under pressure, opt for shorter, more intense milestones. If they deliver consistently, longer and more relaxed milestones will work better.
• Plan to progress the relationship. Can you empower your vendor to take more ownership? Can they handle more strategic work, allowing you to focus on your goals?
• Historically, whenever I started a new engagement, I planned a roadmap for a year.
  • Phase 1: Team setup and simple tasks.
  • Phase 2: Medium complexity enhancements.
  • Phase 3: Complex work assignments.
    This approach worked beautifully every time.

3. Communicate to Understand

Do I have to say I love you? Yes, you do.

Know that some people need to be told, some understand on their own, and some never understand. No matter the category, in the initial phase — over-communicate.

• Over-communication helps identify risks early and bridges cultural differences.
• Be clear with expectations, timelines, negotiables, and non-negotiables.
• Remember to appreciate good work. The language of appreciation is universally understood and well-received.

Years ago, my team was responsible for handling “opt-out” email communication. They were supposed to forward opt-out requests to another email for further processing. The same person repeatedly sent opt-out requests, growing more frustrated each time. The team kept forwarding the same emails without resolving the underlying issue.

They did what they were told, but they still failed because they didn’t communicate effectively.

4. Celebrate

Believe it or not, celebrating success is crucial to elevating vendor partnerships.

• Celebrate periodically. Set a schedule for celebrations — these pit-stops are where you assess successes and failures and learn from them.
• When you celebrate with your vendor or include them in your celebrations, you transform a vendor relationship into a partnership.

The best vendor relationship is the one that evolves into a partnership. The partner’s interests align with yours, and their success becomes closely linked to your own.

To bring out the best in any vendor, push the relationship to evolve from a vendor-client dynamic to a partnership. This is the essence of the Fidget Spinner of Vendor Relationships.